Cool article about friends dating friends, whataboutme?

I like this article that was just sent to me so I wanted to share with everyone. Hope you enjoy it.

Oh, I am not trying to rip anyone off I don't know the article source. I did nor write it myself.


Drawing the Line: Friends Don't Date Friends' Exes

Relationships can be tricky, but certain situations can be down right icky.

Let’s say one of your relatively good friends was seeing a guy for a short period of time. Nothing was official and nothing was officially dismissed, but you suddenly find yourself being attracted to this somewhat spoken-for beau. How about the love affair that lasted a year, but has been over for two? What do you do? Do you flirt with him regardless and hope your friend doesn’t notice? Or do you bow out even though your hormones are on overdrive?

This is a tricky situation that can inspire a variety of reactions in people. There are the people who immediately dismiss such behaviour, since once someone has been touched (no pun intended) by a friend, they are off limits. I get it and agree, but as always, there’s a grey area that most people don’t think about until it actually happens to them. Needless to say, this sort of situation has come up for a friend of mine recently, and it got me thinking about the factors that can make the difference between a green light and a red light when it comes to dating a friend’s ex.

Time

Everyone has that person or perhaps people that once possessed their heart and mind. No matter how much time passes, there’s still a feeling of nostalgia and a certain form of affection that remains. It could be years, but the moment a friend takes an interest in a certain ex, it’s totally natural to be a little upset. But how much is too much? I suppose that’s a judgment call on a case-by-case basis, which is where the grey areas begin. What about the romances that have just recently ended? These can be extremely messy situations as your friend might claim to be over it, but still be smitten. There are all kinds of people who hide their true feelings to save face. It’s important to take this into consideration before you broach the issue.

Closure

Regardless of whether the relationship’s been over for one month or one year, without closure this means nothing. Think about it: who’s had trouble getting over a once true love? Yeah, I thought so. Sometimes from the outside it’s easy to be judgmental and decide that your friend must be over that guy or girl because it’s been so long. This is not always the case. With the romantic rendezvous that don’t have a clear cut ending, the alarm bells should be going off. Stepping into a situation where the boundaries are blurred and the parties involved aren’t entirely sure of where they stand is a surefire way to make an awkward set up even worse. Additional drama? No thanks.

Communication

Let’s say you’ve taken these things into consideration, and you’ve decided that the attraction is too strong and you want to bring up your developing crush with your friend. Be very, very careful as to how you broach the subject. Honesty is definitely a good call and chances are it could potentially get a little awkward, but stick with it. It’s important to get a straight up and clear answer from your friend before making any moves. It would also be a good idea to do a little bit of reading between the lines. When you discuss this topic, chances are the time that has passed and the way the relationship ended will come up, so take care to compare your conclusions and the ones offered by your friend.

Motives

I’m not trying to turn you into jaded skeptics when it comes to finding love, but the underlying objectives of your friend’s ex could be worth a minute or two of thought. Just like your friend could be struggling with her leftover feelings, so could this new person in your life. Who hasn’t tried to make an ex jealous? What could work better than dating one of their friends? Of course, I’m not trying to suggest that everyone has sneaky underhanded motives, but unfortunately, the world is not perfect and things like this do happen. If you’re risking getting into icky friend territory by even bringing up dating an ex, it might be smart to consider all angles.

lots of fish

What does all this have to do with Bruce? Well nothing directly, but once I started thinking about this, I started thinking about how I would feel if any of my friends wanted to date him after we broke up. Yeah, I would definitely not be okay with that. I’m not just saying that because I’m in love with him now. I’m saying that because I can see that the love I feel for him will never actually go away. If we did break up and a friend said she wanted to date him, I’m pretty sure I’d want to rip her face off, but I might just try to hide it with an awkward smile. Alright, alright, probably not. My personal opinion is that emotions are a seriously tricky thing and if you can’t be 100 per cent sure that your friend will be alright with your budding feelings, I’d say steer clear of the situation all together. There are so many millions of people out there that your friends haven’t dated. Go find one of those because they’re so much more fun anyway!


So boys and gals. Don't break the golden rule!!

Be good, have a great day!!

Whataboutme my new "fav" saying lol.